“I have walked through many lives
some of them my own, and I am not who I was,
through some principle of being
abides, from which I struggle
not to stray…”
The Layers by Stanley Kunitz
I recently returned to France from a trip to the United States after being away for over a year and a half. I visited, Murrell’s Inlet, South Carolina, where my partner’s family lives, then Seattle, Washington for my son’s 40th birthday. While flying 40,000 feet above the Earth, there and back through myriad time zones ( an extraordinary marvel in itself) I looked around at all the other passengers and wondered what makes me “me” and not someone else?
The common idea that DNA determines much of who we are is a misinterpretation, as I was reminded while reading The Biology of Belief. Our DNA is controlled by our environment. It’s our perceptions, not genetic programming, that kindle all action in our bodies: Beliefs act as a filter between the environment and our biology, therefore it’s actually our beliefs that select our genes. Thus, people have the power to change their biology. We are not victims of our heredity.
Reflecting on the many iterations of myself I’ve experienced in my lifetime, I wonder how we maintain a true sense of self? With the exception of photography, there are no fixed snapshots of who we are at any given moment. My life is an evolving, creative endeavor. I’ve been a child, daughter, wife, mother, aunt, gardener, designer, architect, writer, photographer, and friend. I am not who I was then, nonetheless, I am the sum of many lives, a fusion of almost 65 trillion cells, a theatre where biology and quantum physics meet.
The layers of life ebb and flow like the waves of an ocean rippling outward until they dissipate into pure energy. I believe how I’ve chosen to walk in the world determines who I am. Our molecules exist in an operatic drama of flowing potential, nimble, graceful and elegant. As Gandhi said, If you change yourself you will change your world. If you change how you think you will change how you feel. By viewing your environment through new lenses of thought and emotions we can discover an unlimited capacity to create a life worth living full of peace, happiness, beauty and love.
Beautifully written, Sue. I, too, have just returned from a trip to the U.S. after living for more than a decade abroad. This trip was to help my 89-yr-old father get back on his feet after a fall, where fortunately nothing broke. With apologies to Thomas Wolfe, you can go home again, albeit for just a short stay.
Your words and photos make me believe that distance gives us perspective, and that introspection can give you peace and contentment.
I’m sure that your time with family and friends was wonderful, and that your presence at your son’s 40th birthday was a special gift for him.
Just what I needed to hear today, thank you Sue for your beautiful brilliance! Wishing you all the best always.
Love the poem, the thoughts, which are rich with meaning at this point of my life, and the photos. I know Murrell’s Inlet well–we also went there for seafood dinners when we went to the beaches nearby–Pawley’s, Lytchfield, Huntington Beach–always enjoyed Flo’s there. I’m married to a South Carolinian so I’ve had the chance to enjoy the beautiful coast there often. Glad you had a good trip and saw all your dear ones.
Wow. Your words speak of so many wonderful things; serenity, love, peace, outlook, surroundings, healing, to name a few. Thank for sharing from the heart and experience Sue. I absolutely adore the photos too! Much love and happiness to you.