” …because everything here seems to need us…” – Rainer Maria Rilke
As I write this rain is falling, and I watch the almost silent transformation of the textured world into a smooth plane where differences disappear. The rain falls in droplets that even a slight gust of wind can transform, in the same way moments fall, not unlike the way our life passes.
This is it. The grass isn’t greener anywhere else. There is no end of the rainbow. All the things we wish for in the new year—prosperity, peace, good fortune — are here now, in the ordinary messiness of our lives.
In this time of striking dissonance it’s crucial that we understand what we have in common. When we lose sight on what we share—our backgrounds, ethnicity, nationality — we behave as though the rest of humanity doesn’t exist. Though we undeniably live in an interconnected world, we often make decisions motivated initially by what benefits us. What part does each of us play in our daily actions and interactions that either adds to the divisiveness, or bridges our differences? We can each flourish only when we create conditions for all to flourish. As Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. reminded us, “Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. I can never be what I ought to be until you are what you ought to be, and you can never be what you ought to be until I am what I ought to be.”
As a tour guide in southern France, I am often surprised how different lifestyles can be in different cultures, yet how similar we are regardless of where we live. In fact, wherever I go I always feel that we all share something at a deep level, something that transcends our upbringing, and culture. Too often we focus on our differences, yet only by acknowledging the similarities between ourselves and others can we forge real connections. This needs to include people we don’t know very well, people we dislike, and even people who we perceive as enemies. It’s important to remember most of us want the same things. It’s easy to forget our common humanity when feeling threatened or afraid. We all have needs, desires, and fears. We all feel joy, pain, love and loss. We all want to avoid suffering. We are all humans struggling to find happiness in a complicated world. It’s not always be easy, but it’s necessary to try.
By practicing mindfulness we can actually engage in meaningful conversations with people who have different beliefs. Our own personal narratives aren’t the only ones that matter.
Try this exercise: Gently close your eyes. Take a deep breath in, and release a long breath out, and continue this until you feel the tension that you’re holding soften. Hold a person in mind as if they were right in front of you and say to yourself, This person has a body and a mind, just like me. This person has feelings, emotions, and thoughts, just like me. This person has at some point in his/her life been sad, disappointed, angry, hurt, or confused, just like me. This person has experienced physical, emotional pain and suffering, just like me. This person has experienced moments of peace, joy, and happiness, just like me. This person wishes to have fulfilling relationships, just like me. This person wishes to be healthy and loved, just like me. Now, as you hold this person in mind, send him/her good wishes. May she be well, may he be happy, may she be healthy, may he live with ease.’
Anything that annoys you can teach you patience.
Anything that abandons you can teach you how to stand on your own two feet.
Anything that angers you can teach you forgiveness and compassion.
Anything that has power over you can teach you how to take your own power back.
Anything that you hate can teach you unconditional love.
Anything you fear can teach you courage to overcome your fears.
Anything you can’t control can teach you how to let go.
These words are attributed to Jackson Kiddard who lived in 19th century France. He became a renowned philosopher and yogi, eventually traveling to India where he passed away in 1901. Though I could not find any information about him from any credible source, his words remain true. Each of us can share the vast grace of awakening.
You do not have to agree with what I’ve written, but we’re bound by a shared intention of deepening our connection with each other. When we don’t acknowledge our connections with others, our world gets very small. Only through acts of acceptance, kindness, validation, favor, faith, goodwill, generosity, magnanimity, kindness, forgiveness, empathy, compassion, and grace will we ever find peace in a frantic world. What we see in the world is no more and no less a reflection of what is unseen inside of ourselves.
“The task of improving the world may seem impossible, but it isn’t…”