“Only as high as I reach can I grow. Only as far as I seek can I go. Only as deep as I look can I see. Only as much as I dream can I be.”
Karen Ravn
We think of years as meaningful portions of time as each year unfolds with new chapters of our story. We create resolutions – short, quick emotional contrivances – and often feel badly when we don’t honor them. This year I’m going to be kind and compassionate with myself, because I’ve realized I’m never going to stop making messes, creating dramas, leaving things unfinished, wasting time, complaining or being lazy. I’ve held on to unrealistic expectations of others and some limiting beliefs about myself for far too long. When I look at the debris I’ve swept under the rug this year I have to acknowledge there are no clean slates, the past will still visit me in my head when I least expect it and none of this endless chatter ever respects a calendar.
Sometimes when I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling, I write in my journal, stream of consciousness, wishful thinking, a billet-doux, love letter to myself. I know the more honest and introspective I’m willing to be, the closer I will come to being at peace with myself. Today I will take my journal and a favorite pen to a place of solitude. I will allow what’s inside to emerge, uncensored, drawn from the heart. I’ve discovered there’s magic in actually writing down your feelings, thoughts and ideas, an alchemy occurs when putting pen to paper. I’ve learned the hard way that I will only be as happy as I make up my mind to be. 
This new year will simply be made up of moments, one after another. Guidance can be important and sometimes necessary, but instead of spending money on a therapist or an expensive retreat, I believe we can learn important lessons and gain powerful insights by simply being alone. Lama Surya Das says, “What we fear to question, is where we are afraid to be known. If your compassion doesn’t include yourself, it’s incomplete.” 
Begin the new year with me – find a place of solitude, leave all of the distracting, hand-held devices behind, pick up pen and paper and write a love letter to yourself. Make bold statements with sweeping strokes. Be grateful for what you do and don’t have. Harvest goodwill and grace. Be the honored guest at your own banquet. Today really can be the first day of the rest of your life.
