“Only as high as I reach can I grow. Only as far as I seek can I go. Only as deep as I look can I see. Only as much as I dream can I be.”
Karen Ravn
We think of years as meaningful portions of time as each year unfolds with new chapters of our story. We create resolutions – short, quick emotional contrivances – and often feel badly when we don’t honor them. This year I’m going to be kind and compassionate with myself, because I’ve realized I’m never going to stop making messes, creating dramas, leaving things unfinished, wasting time, complaining or being lazy. I’ve held on to unrealistic expectations of others and some limiting beliefs about myself for far too long. When I look at the debris I’ve swept under the rug this year I have to acknowledge there are no clean slates, the past will still visit me in my head when I least expect it and none of this endless chatter ever respects a calendar.
Sometimes when I don’t know exactly what I’m feeling, I write in my journal, stream of consciousness, wishful thinking, a billet-doux, love letter to myself. I know the more honest and introspective I’m willing to be, the closer I will come to being at peace with myself. Today I will take my journal and a favorite pen to a place of solitude. I will allow what’s inside to emerge, uncensored, drawn from the heart. I’ve discovered there’s magic in actually writing down your feelings, thoughts and ideas, an alchemy occurs when putting pen to paper. I’ve learned the hard way that I will only be as happy as I make up my mind to be. 
This new year will simply be made up of moments, one after another. Guidance can be important and sometimes necessary, but instead of spending money on a therapist or an expensive retreat, I believe we can learn important lessons and gain powerful insights by simply being alone. Lama Surya Das says, “What we fear to question, is where we are afraid to be known. If your compassion doesn’t include yourself, it’s incomplete.” 
Begin the new year with me – find a place of solitude, leave all of the distracting, hand-held devices behind, pick up pen and paper and write a love letter to yourself. Make bold statements with sweeping strokes. Be grateful for what you do and don’t have. Harvest goodwill and grace. Be the honored guest at your own banquet. Today really can be the first day of the rest of your life.
While I loved your blog and your quote, the quote IMO, poetic as it is, is full of false logic! Is it not possible to imagine gaining more than you can see, dream, search for etc.? That, in the looking, searching, dreaming, something could occur perhaps from a synergy from nature alone, or an inner strength, you did not realize you possessed?
I am happy you have decided to look inward rather than seeking yet another therapist. I have long known of the waste of time it is seeking solutions from therapists (shrinks) 100% of which, except the behavioral shrinks, have gone into the profession to solve their own problems and never do! Friends, are a far better source for healing and solving, not to mention cheaper. You should know or will soon discover, that everything is relative and what we think is a large defect or problem in the bigger picture usually amounts to less than a hill of beans. I constantly remind me myself of the inciteful quote: I felt bad I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.” That quote which I have carried in my head for decades was never more apropos than this past year, when a dear friend of mine, painstakingly, and through a long process that took most of the year, which included no less than six operations lost most of both of his feet. At blame according to docs, bad circulation and diabetes; I would add lousy genes. To add irony to what is already most sad is the man is a stand up comedian by profession! Another, closer, longer known, friend went through major heart surgery and is recovering well. Not that either of these fellows were angels or models of good behavior in their habits and diets but I find myself getting the evil eye from their wives and family members as I continue my “bad habits” without so much as a pause. I can hear their thoughts: “why our dad/husband and not this putz!” And at main focus is of course my cigars. It is and has been well established some time ago that cigars, are, in fact pure evil and anyone who associates with said product is evil as well by association! The facts/truth, which are quite the contrary, and I seem to be one of the few people left on the planet willing to admit I know them and will if prodded speak them aloud, despite the futility of the gesture, placed on deaf ears and brains thoroughly washed, ever hopeful I may find one person who will actually hear and possibly believe the facts. I think if among my friends and associates, I am the last man standing, even then, no one will wonder or ask why despite my strong association with evil (cigars); I think it more likely I will be found to blame for their loved ones being gone by their association to me and likely I would be hung by the nearest tree able to support my tonnage.
I have yet to discover, though not stopped looking for, the secret of how and why some people often with less to be happy about then most, go through life with the happiest of attitudes, fully genuine! Not that they don’t have their down moments but their bounce back is unlike anything I know or understand; they are simply happy by nature, it is their natural position, status. I begin to think it genetic. Could their be a happy gene? And yet, these folks are often found surrounded by the saddest of people, to whom they are directly related. A gene that skips? Perhaps, time will tell.
Here’s wishing you the most happiest of new years and that your journey enlightens you to your own wonderfulness, despite your suspicions otherwise!!!
Big Hug,
Peter
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Happy and healthy new year to you, Sue. I can’t give up my resolutions–but I am trying to be reasonable with myself. Thank you for today’s reminder to take the time to look inside and adjust the focus a bit. I received some wonderful resolutions from a friend–highlighting among others, living in the present moment and paying attention to how we are all connected. Gratitude continues to take top billing –and so, I feel so thankful for my health, family and friends–of which you are one. Thank you for the gift of these monthly muses with pictures on which to meditate. I do look forward to starting off each month with you & vis-à-vis.
Amitiés,
Robyn France
Sue what you penned spoke to me loud and clearly I added nothing to it I subtracted nothing, it spoke volumes and hit me like beautiful music to my ears. I enjoyed reading all your comments and of course Peters, he wrote such a wonderful letter and I understood what he was putting out on the table. My grandmother would always, always quote the same thing Peter has held on to and it woke me right up…”I complained because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet”… I’m going to re-read your blog again and then to George, I follow and you didn’t miss a beat. So Shanah Tova….in the new year…..Which means live a meaningful life and happiness will follow…Not Happy New Year because life has it’s moments when flippent meaningless words are just that….
when a close family member dies in your arms on New Years morning…which happened to my friend who drove from BC to the east coast to help the father of her grown children…..It is the meaningful life that was shared and a labor of love that she drove that distance, so this year I’d like to make the New Year a meaningful life for all….Love you forever and always.. George & Anne… 2015
Sue, this is a most beautiful way to express what I too have been wrestling with. Death of family too soon, depression, loss of job, pressures that seem overwhelming. I too am re-claiming my life, regaining momentum, and learning to love myself. Peter put it all into perspective and beautifully and Ann as well. Thank you all for sharing, it has given me hope for 2015!
Sue, enjoyed reading this blog and seeing your beautiful photos. And am really happy for you that living in France, which you once mentioned has been a long time coming, has provided a place that gives you the inspiration, time, tranquility and opportunity to realise your dreams. May 2015 be a terrific year for you as you go from strength to strength.
Good morning, Sue. Looking out at silent, low hanging fog that touches the trees on Squaxin Island while viewing your poignant images and reading your revelations, I realize how similar our world views are at this stage. Despite all “evidence” to the contrary, we still find beauty and peace in our surroundings as well as inspiration to take on new endeavors. Congratulations on your new venture! If we can’t join you in 2015, we look forward to the possibility in 2016. The ghosts of the Camargue continue to intrigue.
You continue to be an inspiration to all.
Love,
Linda
Thank you for a truthful and entertaining first blog for this year.
I agree, silence is most illuminating. I love your pictures this month too. They invite me to put the kettle on and settle in.
I’ve walked through a fair bit of lower south France. These scenes are memory triggers for me.
Happy New Year.
Sue