“We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.”
Thomas Moore
While looking at the calendar over the weekend I noticed that July 30th was International Friendship Day. I thought, really? Do we really need a holiday to celebrate friendship? After all, greeting friends en masse is what so many people do when tweeting, liking and sharing with Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. But is engaging through social media a meaningful connection? Is it a step in the dance of friendship or is it a distraction? Are we losing the ability to connect with our real social network? 
By living a simple life in SW France I’ve realized the older I get the more time has become a precious commodity. In this quiet, unhurried morning I can honestly say that, for me, living a simple life means subtracting what depletes me and adding what nourishes me. I am fed by the deep connections true friendships bring. There are friends who transcend gender, race, age and cultural boundaries. There are birds of a feather friends who flock together. There are fair weather friends and soul-friends, kindred spirits who feel an immediate attraction to each other. We need to be present to make these real connections, to tell our own stories, to reach out our hand. In this age of fast paced communication we can’t possibly see, feel or engage completely unless we consciously stop the clock. 
Social media has its benefits, but we need to be intentional when using it. We can learn to say no to friends who add stress to our lives not by de-friending them, but by talking to them. We don’t have to go through a digital detox program because we’re suffering from Facebook fatigue, we just have to turn off our mobile devices for a couple of hours every day and experience the natural world, meet people face to face, hear their voices, see the look in their eyes. We needn’t let our sense of who we are become clouded by what others think of us online and we mustn’t waste our time on anger, resentment, jealousy, spite, shaming or other people’s dramas. The time spent on these negative emotions is irreplaceable. Why are we so reluctant to say openly that we care for one another? 
When you have a true friendship with someone you care for them with compassion, kindness and love. What’s good for them is good for you. No matter what form a friend takes, a true friend is a gift, a priceless gem, a treasure. The English writer Sydney Smith said, “Life is to be fortified by many friendships. To love, and be loved, is the greatest happiness of existence.” Be the friend you want to have.
