“Be who you are. Say what you feel. Those who matter don’t mind and those who mind don’t matter.”
Dr. Seuss
The countryside of France conjures up romantic images, but quite often most rural villages have a deserted air, as though suddenly everyone disappeared. Unlike Italian villages where life is lived on the streets at all hours of the day and night, in French villages, life is lived behind closed shutters, weathered doors ans lace covered windows.
Lace, dentelle, was originally created in Venice, Italy. The openwork fabric, its play of light and dark and use of patterned negative space became the fashion of kings and the concealer of queens. In Venetian daily life, literally wearing a mask became de rigueur. Life became a masquerade.
Almost everyone, at one time or another in their lives, hides behind a veil of pretense to disguise their true colors. Why are we taught as children that we are not enough as we are, which ironically bleeds the color out of our lives as adults?
If we continually try to camouflage ourselves in an effort to impress others or avoid embarrassment, to be accepted, loved or ignored, we will find ourselves trapped in the locked room of our own defenses. Although nothing will be able to get through to us, we won’t feel anything either. Why do we keep our inner lives private when we crave intimacy? Why do we let out interactions become transactional and not transparent? Why do we conceal parts of ourselves from each other?
In reality, our illusions are so thin we can usually see behind them, but we’ve collectively agreed to look away, lest our own false fronts be revealed. As Popeye so poetically said, “I am what I am.” We all have design flaws. We all need to discover who we really are. The real challenge is being happy with what we find.
